Let’s Go Home

I wrote and performed this song at my wedding on October 31st, 2014. Here are the lyrics and the only bootleg video that we have:

The door is open
I see you standing there
You’re wearing fuzzy paws
There’s cat ears in your hair

I’m dressed as Maverick
We’re in the danger zone
I need some lovin’
You’re ready to get boned

Time to consummate
This happy marriage thing
Let’s get it started
Come touch my ding-a-ling
I love you so much
It’s like a heart disease
You need attention
I need you on your knees

This may sound a bit profane
Let’s go home and bang

I’m going down now
It’s hot under the sheets
You moan in elvish
I’m cramping in my feet

The fire is aflame
It’s dark and I can’t see
I’m blindly groping
Is that hole you or me

Time to consummate
This happy marriage day
I’ll send some babies in
They’ll do the jizz ballet
We’ll get the job done
Then eat some barbecue
‘Cause for you, wifey
There’s nothing I won’t do

Your boobs are sort of like cocaine
So let’s go home and bang

Say something!