Rating: 4.5 out of 5

Ahoy, readers of delicious reviews. This week, I take on the roller coaster that is Creed and we all share a moment in wondering why Scott Stapp was nowhere in this film.

Now, like everyone else, I went into this movie assuming that it was going to be a biopic about the majestic and powerful rock band from the 90’s known as Creed. I expected a little debauchery, a few guest appearances (maybe from Kid Rock or Nickelback), and I expected to hear a breathtaking performance of “With Arms Wide Open.” Instead I got a strangely buff corpse and a bunch of black people. This was not the Creed I was looking for.

Seriously, though…if there is a God hanging out in the cosmos somewhere (probably eating a hefty steak and watching boobs on his security monitors), I hope he never allows a Creed biopic to be made. I would rather face an apocalypse of rabid midgets who love Hangin’ with Mr. Cooper than watch that nonsense.

Creed stars Michael B. Jordan, who plays the son of iconic boxer Apollo Creed. The film follows the young Creed (known as Adonis Johnson) as he struggles to make his way in life and in the boxing world without living in the shadow of his dead father. He is absolutely fantastic in this role, and he captures all of the emotion and tenacity that you would expect from a man who is emerging as a star. He was a perfect fit for Apollo’s son, from his facial expressions while fighting to his chiseled physique. He is definitely coming into his own as an actor. Jordan stars alongside The Italian Stallion himself Sylvester Stallone in what is the last time we will ever see Rocky Balboa on the big screen. While many of us were probably thinking we did not need to see him again after Rocky V (or Rocky II), it is still hard to see such an iconic character leave us for the last time. I love Stallone. I always have, and Rocky is the pinnacle of his career. It is such a legendary and likeable character in film history, and Stallone is the same old Rocky in Creed. The chemistry between Michael B. Jordan and Stallone was great and I really enjoyed them together.

As a whole, the story was fairly generic and even followed the original story of Rocky in some ways, but the tremendous acting and execution made it great to watch anyway. It was exciting, emotional, and even humorous at times. I was enthralled, and while that may have been due in part to my love for the Rocky movies, I think Creed stands on its own as a great film. It takes sports, an underdog, a love story, and iconic characters and blends them neatly into an entertaining finished product.

As is usually expected for this sort of film, there was a sprinkling of cheese in it that left me groaning at the stupidity…but only a little. There is a scene that involves Adonis Johnson running through the streets of Philadelphia (cue the Bruce Springsteen music) alongside several young kids on dirt bikes and quads before stopping and shadowboxing as they all celebrate him. It was…lame. Yes, that is a good word. Other than that, the damn movie was near perfect.

Question: Why in the name of God’s silver-coated penis would you bring a baby to this movie? What are they going to get from it other than a black eye from not shutting the fuck up? Yes…I wanted to punch that baby in his stupid baby eye. Parents like that are fucking idiots. Then there was the strange man towards the front who felt the need to applaud enthusiastically every time Creed landed a good punch. I miss Darwin.

Overall, Creed was a great movie. The acting was great, the story was fun, and I enjoyed the journey. I acknowledge that my opinion may be based slightly on my love for Rocky as a series, but I think Creed stands on its own as great new film starring a young, up-and-coming black actor. It was refreshing to see that. Maybe Tyler Perry can quit his job now. I give it four and a half out of five. Really, if I did not go by halves, it would be more like a 4.8 out of 5. Go see it!