Mission Impossible – Rogue Nation

Rating: 4 out of 5

So…I saw Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation this week. I know, I know. Tom Cruise is crazy. We all think it. However, I shall type to you with utmost honesty. I don’t give a shit. He can pretend to levitate, bend spoons, or turn himself into Kat Dennings’ vibrators…it doesn’t matter. I will always watch his movies. Why? Because he’s fucking awesome. I have thought so ever since I was introduced to movies like Taps, Top Gun, and Born on the Fourth of July. Maybe that makes me a misguided Scientologist lunatic, but I accept that.

Wait…no I don’t.

The latest MI movie sees crazy ol’ Tom battling the likes of the Syndicate – an International terrorist organization that threatens the very virginity of mankind. The movie is action-packed, exciting, and downright fun. It is pretty much exactly what I look for in an action movie. I watch them to be entertained, not to fucking think!

One of the things that the Mission Impossible franchise has going for it is an unending desire to top itself in each movie. They thrive on performing enormous, complex stunts that make viewers soil their shitty, only sort-of-reclining folding movie chairs while testing the limits of what they can film. I am also forever impressed by the fact that Tom performs his own stunts, regardless of how dangerous they are. His commitment to his character and to the film’s realism is admirable. Rogue Nation blew its wad a little early, unfortunately. Its best stunt was at the very beginning of the movie, and while it was a great one, it left you waiting in vain for an even bigger one at the end. It never fucking came! Apart from that, I think the last movie had better stunts. There, I said it. Eat my poop.

The supporting cast that Tom has in these movies is fantastic. In particular, I love Simon Pegg. Always have, always will. The only thing that could improve the casting is Nick Frost. Can we work that out please?

The story was interesting, as most spy movies are. We have a general fascination with the perceived dark underbelly of government and ultra-powerful criminal organizations that might be operating within arm’s reach. I enjoyed the way they portrayed the Syndicate and their evil, soft-spoken maniac of a leader Solomon Lane. It gave the baddies a more sinister feel. There was also a motorcycle chase scene that made me want to ride off into the distance immediately…at about eight thousand miles per hour.

As usual, this film has plenty of loopholes. When watching an action film, you are tasked with suspending some forms of logic and immersing yourself in the world that is presented in front of you. In this case, you must watch with the knowledge that Tom Cruise is not going to get seriously hurt no matter how beaten up he gets or how hard he hits his head on solid metal things. You must also realize that ridiculous action sequences are common in this world of action-y goodness. Oh, and Tom is incapable of being shot by AK-47’s. With these things in mind, you are well equipped to enjoy Mission Impossible – Rogue Nation, or any action movie for that matter.

Overall, this movie was fun and acted as a two hour supply of excitement and violence. It wasn’t the best movie in the series, but it was a good summer action flick to sit through and be reminded of how manly you are. By the end, your testosterone level will be through the roof and you’ll be impregnating women just by gazing in their general direction. I give it four out of five. Enjoy.

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