A Christmas List

It’s Christmas time again
And all I want this year
Is a blanket made of boobies
And a jar of spider ears

And if it’s not much trouble
I’d like much more than that
Like a purple flying Harley
And a hairy baseball bat

If I can be persistent
And ask for something more
I’d enjoy a Danish penguin
And dinner with Jay Mohr

Now while we’re on the topic
I’d like a fart-filled bomb
Plus laser-shooting flip flops
And the storm after the calm

If we’re really getting greedy
Then I need a tasty treat
Like a vat of sugar pork chops
Or some chocolate covered feet

But Christmas isn’t over
‘Til I’ve gotten this last thing
A pocket full of money
And a four foot ding-a-ling

Wait…too much?

Say something!